Foolish Little Brother
by Yo-Rah
Summary: A drabble about how one of the most notorious men in The Land of Fire can be a little blonde sometimes - especially when it comes to his little brother.


"Foolish little brother…"

At that very moment I was preoccupied with reading scriptures that Hidan handed to "enlighten" each individual in the hidden caverns that was our lair. Well, _our _lair wasn't exactly accurate to say the least – I was not a part of the Akatsuki – but you get the idea.

I used to be an office clerk living day to day with a simplistic routine that most would consider dull and dreary. However I enjoyed the simple life with performed my duties well. My job was to handle accounts and other administrative duties for Dr. Kagehisa– a brilliant surgeon that owned a successful private practice in the Mist. It was good there… when our clients weren't obnoxious power hungry assholes.

To cut a long story short the Akatsuki took me (don't ask me why) and did the whole work-for-us-or-die speech that seriously had me quivering from top to toe. I'm sorry to say that the bravery gene must have bypassed me and I found myself nodding in agreement as soon as they started talking and I must have looked like a total chicken with my head bobbing up and down like a freak.

For weeks I hid in the little cubby hole that Pain had given me inside a cavern. It was decked out with cabinets, a nice desk and a very comfortable chair. But every time someone came in I would squeal like an idiot and duck under the desk, convincing myself that this was the day that they'd kill me. But the day never came. And soon I stopped hiding under the desk.

I started talking to them, asking undemanding questions like "what time is it?" and "have you seen my pen?" and eventually I began to ask more in depth questions like "how was your day?" I think they were a little frightened at first because I had hid for so long without giving any of them a chance and they scuttled away very quickly. Very much like my hiding under the desks I suppose.

Nevertheless, the guys finally came to me when they needed someone to talk to. I know what you are thinking and yes, the boys from the Akatsuki indeed have a lot on their minds and it does get into their psyche every now and then. And so, my work load increased when I became the shrink for the boys (as Konan wouldn't be caught dead mingling with servants). It took me a while to get used the idea of working with murderers but as human nature dictates you get adapt to any situation or die.

So sitting at the kitchen table with the most notorious murderers in the world wasn't so much a big a deal as some would think it was. They were people with thoughts and feelings and on a personal level, weren't all that bad. Unless of course you had a mark on your head and they were the ones to deliver the bad luck.

"Such a foolish little boy."

"Pardon?" I asked, lowering the scriptures of Jashin slightly to peer over the top at Itachi –the only other person in the room. Hopefully Itachi wouldn't care to share any of his… musings.

"Sasuke." He elaborated and blinked.

_Keep a straight face, don't laugh _I repeated the mantra in my head before asking anything more.

"What about him?" I raised an eyebrow at the quiet man.

"He's a fool."

It was moments like these when you really got to see the funny side of these scary people. As clever as Itachi was, he was a total blonde when it came to talking about his brother. But this was the first time Itachi had ever spoken with me and I was kind of looking forward to getting to know him a little better. In saying that, Hidan was more my kind of guy. Why else would I read his stupid books?

"I figured that much but what's he done this time?" I retorted patiently. On the inside I was rolling around on the floor laughing but on the outside I was composed –another skill I had acquired since being dragged into the Akatsuki. God, I seriously don't know how they got on without me.

"He has been foolish."

I resisted the urge to slap him in case he slapped me back. I opted to carefully put Hidan's Bible on the table top before anything bad happened, giving my full attention to the poor man.

"Oh." I waited for him to say something else but he didn't. I resisted the urge to sigh. "What did he do this time to make you say 'foolish little brother'?"

Itachi's didn't even twitch. "Nothing."

I love this guy.

I pushed back from the table and stood up with a grimace, clicking out the kinks in my back and neck.

"Okay Itachi." I petted his head fondly.

Itachi's hand snapped out and he grabbed my wrist tightly. "Please refrain from touching me in future."

"Sure," I replied coolly. Hell, at least he didn't grab my boobs or anything. "Whatever you say, Itachi."

He tightened his grip, and narrowed his eyes assessing my expressions. Then, he released me and closed his eyes, resting his head against the back of the chair.

"Foolish little brother."

_Resist… the… urge!_


End file.
